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Offensive Intentions?
So, here lately I have apparently been pushing buttons on my personal Facebook page (which is much more highly trafficked than my “fan page“).
I’m the type of person that thinks a lot. But, I like to put my questions out there, publicly. I like ideas. I like understanding. I want to understand. And if you never ask questions, will you ever fully grasp the concept of things in front of you? Or the reality of the person you are standing next to?
It’s also not just about asking the questions, but being receptive to the responses. And allowing someone their chance to speak their mind without being belittled. If you really want to understand, you won’t attempt to change their mind. You continue asking questions to better understand their position. And likewise, you politely share how you may feel differently. And of course if you agree 
Most of the time, discussions go VERY well on my links and status updates. And it’s such a pleasure to be able to talk to people and better understand why they feel the way they do on certain subjects and to gain insight to the positions of both parties. Even abortion debates have gone smoothly! Try that on for size on your own page and see what happens!
The other night, however, I made the mistake of sharing a friend’s question. It was basically asking why more of the human population DOESN’T consider our own surplus population issues when considering having children, yet we’re pretty clear on controlling the surplus pet population issues.
Between friends with very specific opinions and less of an “in-depth reason” behind the original inquiry, the whole thread fell to the wayside. Parents took offense to being questioned about why they had kids at all, and those with concerns for our population who HAVE made the decision NOT to have kids apparently came off as “dry” and uncaring about other opinions.
I was actually accused of focusing on the negative at one point, privately. And that there was hope for me that one day I would find the “good” in life. Talk about confusing poor ol’ me who tries like hell to keep positive as much as possible! Yikes!
So, Sunday’s events have lead me to make this post here to help better explain my inquiring mind, I suppose.
Do I ask questions, share things, or post things to intentionally get a rise out of people? No. I post things for a few reasons, some of which are: better understanding who I am, clarifying my beliefs, simple humor, and to make people THINK. I want people to ask questions. I want people to tell me their beliefs and what they mean to them. I want people to show me they have an opinion on something, even if it differs from mine! Prove to me that you’re human and that you can think. Prove to me that something matters to you enough for you to say something about it. Prove to me that you know enough about whatever it is to have the opinion you hold so strongly. And be brave enough to ask ME questions if you don’t understand *my* position on something.
I’m not a close-minded person. I love learning knew things, and that includes how and what people think on a variety of things. Now, not all counter arguments may sway my personal positions on things, it’s still good to know. And for those things I didn’t know, thank you for telling me!
As we all know, it’s impossible to please everyone all of the time. I really try my best to respect other’s beliefs and opinions. But, there are many times that I KNOW I have inadvertently offended someone because of the general nature of the things I choose to share with others, be it my own words in conversations, inappropriate things I’ve found on the internet, links to hot topic items, etc. I can’t make all of you happy! And ya know what? I’m not even going to try!
I do need folks to realize a few things about me though so that it may, perhaps, shield some of the “hurt feelings” that are likely to come up.
- I think and talk a lot and I generally love milling about the “tough” topics.
- I have a sarcastic sense of humor which leads me to also find humor in things that are potentially offensive to others. Because of this sense of humor, I have many others with a similar style and just sometimes simply can’t resist sharing things for their benefit.
- I can be very direct and “to the point.” I’ve been told this makes me look like a hard ass. And I’m okay with that. Just realize that it’s not really me being a hard ass as much as it is an attempt to get clear and concise answers the first time around.
- On the surface, it may appear that my opinionated nature is set in stone. Nope, not at all. Present an alternative view that I may not be aware of and I’m completely willing to revise my original standpoint.
With all this being said, I hope any new visitors that come along realize that while it may appear that I try intentionally to “start sh*t,” that’s not the case. My intentions are in initiating discussions and helping others to learn about differing viewpoints. And maybe to help those people firm up their own opinions on a variety of subjects. It’s ALWAYS good to know where you stand on something. I don’t censor people. I don’t belittle people. I try my best to encourage thoughtful discussions. Why? Because I want to hear what YOU have to say. So, get on it. Voice your opinion. Because whether you believe it or not, some people DO care.
Did You Judge Me?
I bet you have
I’ve been attending networking events recently, and actually just got my personal business cards to take with me to these. My web address leads to here. I’m sure I’m probably shooting myself in the foot here a bit too by doing so and needing solid work to sustain me. I mean, those who have a lack of belief in God are considered LESS trustworthy than those people in the GLBT community, and we see what kind of public uproar people have about that particular lifestyle. (Which I should add, is most ridiculous – get out of their bedroom!)
Word on the streets is that it’s because, to believers, they typically feel that nonbelievers have no “guide” to go by that helps them determine right from wrong. That they have no system to base their morals from and because of that, they just simply can’t be trusted.
So. Let me get this straight. If you, assuming that you’re a believer, were stripped of the Bible or your other chosen book of religion and could no longer study the teachings, would you really dive into this black hole of bad behavior, just because there was no governing document to “keep you in line?”
If religion brings you peace, so be it. Having no religion brings me peace. AND! I’m still a good person. I’m still trustworthy, dedicated, devoted, and loyal to those people who I know and have earned those values from me. There are even times where I’m entirely too nice to people I DON’T know because it is the RIGHT thing to do.
Judging me based on my beliefs, or lack thereof, means you’re going to miss out on an awesome person. I have fantastic contacts in my circle of friends and acquaintances. And because of my blunt honesty and ability to be direct and not beat around the bush, people come to me frequently for advice, ideas, and recommendations. If I was truly untrustworthy, people wouldn’t come to me for a damn thing. And I believe that to my core.
I worried a lot when I started this blog. Well, maybe not so much the blog, but adding the direct URL to get here, and deciding I was going to put that URL on my business cards to pass out to mostly strangers who would likely come to the site to learn more about me. I recognized that I was in fact going to be judged. After a few weeks of thinking about it, I realized it was something I had to do. An envelope that I needed to push, not only with the public, but myself.
See. Changing the public’s perception of a specific term does not happen through silence. It happens through demonstration. And if I’m to persuade any of the public to view nonbelievers as they are – individuals – then someone needs to step out of their little, comfortable bubble and show them that painting with a broad brush misses MANY important details.
D5 Creation